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The Student News Site of Hyman Brand Hebrew Academy

RampageWired

The Student News Site of Hyman Brand Hebrew Academy

RampageWired

The Student News Site of Hyman Brand Hebrew Academy

RampageWired

Photo by Teddy Zitron
D'var Torah
March 15, 2024

Breaking News: School Administrator Flagrantly Violates Own Draconian Dress Code

Photos by Alex Sher

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She did the crime, now she must do the time. 

It’s a familiar routine at HBHA, students shuffle into prayers, hopeful that their casual t-shirts without a sweatshirt or leggings are not noticed by watchful teachers. Sometimes they are lucky; other times, not so much. Regardless, it is a well-known fact that the teacher most likely to punish students for their dress code infractions is none other than Director of Testing and Teacher Development, Laura Hewitt.

Recently, on a dark and gloomy morning, the tables were turned and Hewitt was the one walking around in a treacherous too-casual top.

“I got up really late this morning and I had not done laundry over the weekend,” Hewitt claims. “The only thing that was clean was a black t-shirt, so I figured it is better to come to school out of dress code than to stay home and do laundry.” But can her claims be trusted, considering her devotion to dress code clearly can’t be?

Students throughout the school were shocked at Hewitt’s blatant disregard for the rules. “I feel annoyed because she’s constantly getting people in trouble for breaking dress code rules and yet she can walk around and not wearing dress code and nobody yells at her for anything,” said freshman Lauren Hassan, a previous dress code violator.

This annoyance was felt throughout the entire school; seventh grader Jared Schultz complained, “She tells us to wear dress code; why is she breaking it?”

After the entire student body was able to notice her violation, Head of School Howard Haas and Upper School Principal Todd Clauer confronted Hewitt about her unruly outfit.

“They asked me what I was wearing and I gave them my story,” said Hewitt. “I was told it was up to me to be responsible enough and prepared to come to school dressed professionally. The incident was reported in my personal file.”

The trio went into Haas’s office and little is known about what transpired during their meeting. However, Hewitt was seen afterwards wearing one of “Clauer’s polos.”

Hewitt appeared contrite after the incident, “I feel really bad because I am a professional and need to be treated like a professional, so I need to dress like one,” she said. But would a professional truly use run on sentences, like the one in the previous quote; it just does not seem like a professional thing to do, unless, there’s a conspiracy behind all of this.

At last, Hewitt noted the hypocrisy of her actions, “I can’t expect students to do something I don’t do.” Clearly, she learned something from her actions.

Perhaps next time, Hewitt will think twice before breaking dress code at HBHA. She might also be a little more lenient when a student was too rushed for school to wear a cardigan, but, then again, maybe not.

 

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